June 22 Crossing America
Chester, IL – Farmington, MO. Distance 49 miles
Total distance covered through today 1,422 miles, miles ridden on my bike 1,328
Its whining time again my friends. I was able to get on the road by 7:00 for what was billed as one of our “Easiest” days of riding; right for a twenty something year old but not for this Old Guy. Sure the first 8 miles started with a nice downhill then a fairly flat stretch but did notice going was a little slow as there appeared to be a pretty good headwind.
Then the hills began, first one over a mile long. Oh yea, there is a headwind about 20+ mph. It was quite noticeable as crested that hill and was looking forward to a nice downhill to recover but the wind almost stopped me. Never a good sign when you have
to pedal going downhill. The rest of the day was going up and down hills and while fighting a fierce headwind. Seven hours later I arrived in Farmington totally exhausted.
Whine # 1 tomorrow we are going 90 miles through the heart of the Ozarks. Today was just a warm-up to the big hills will be tackling, I know because I’ve been in this area a number of times canoeing the Current and Jacks Fork Rivers. George one of our group leaders said it will be a reasonable distance take an average speed of 12 mph and divide into 90 equals only 7 ½ hours of pedaling. If everyone gets on the road by 7:00 AM, there is no reason even with breaks to be done by 4 or 5 PM. Right George, I averaged 7.8 mph today while pedaling. Tomorrow bigger hills and almost double the distance, I should get done sometime around midnight. This group of leaders have NO clue when it comes to taking into consideration we old folks can’t maintain, at least me, 12 mph average riding up and down hills all day. Driving me nuts.
Whine # 2 today a local newspaper came to interview us and the reporter asked Pepper and David what was the most memorable adventure each has had so far on the Trans
Am. Guess what both were hard pressed to come up with an answer. Gee, let me guess why? Because the bulk of our day is spent eating, pedaling, eating, pedaling, eating, pedaling and sleep, the next day is a repeat of this day and the next and the next. This is really bull-shit. What kind of memory are we creating for ourselves, “I rode across America on a bicycle and saw nothing”? Wow, what memory! Not me, I want to remember the folks I met, the sights I viewed the inspiration and pride gained knowing America is one the grandest countries in the history of the world.
Onto to something not as depressing as the disappointment I have with being a member of
this crew. Last night I had a dream, a really crazy dream. WARNING! Following is my recollection of that dream and I have been told it borders on being X-Rated. Personally I don’t see how eating chicken has anything to do with sex as I learned from former President Bill Clinton.
Seize the Chicken Man
If you read yesterday’s blog you learned I was trying to decide if I should order a half
fried chicken or a full chicken for my dinner. I ordered the full and washed it down with more beers then I can remember counting, I did exceed my daily allowance for expenses. To say I was miserable when I left the Eagles Club is an understatement. Actually I
think I kind of wobbled out of the place. Got to where I had left my gear when the rain started and discovered it had rained so hard the pavilion semi-flooded and the outside of my bags completely soaked. No matter as I’m a good Scout and had all my clothes in plastic bags so they were dry, my sleeping bag was in a waterproof stuff sack so it too was dry. My first order of business was to pitch, set-up, my tent which proved to be slightly challenging. By the time I had all my gear inside the tent and settled down for sleep. Next thing I remember my tent was swirling and lifting off for the Land of Oz except instead
of Dorothy was me the Old Guy.
Then I find myself sitting down for a banquet which had fried chicken as the main course. The queen instructed her staff to take our order and I in the spirit of bravo told the serving Wench I’ll have a whole chicken. The wine flowed freely and I found more interest in the wine then in finish eating the chicken. The Wench stopped by my table several times
always checking the half eaten chicken as if I should finish it all. Away with you Wench I said as I continued to consume the nectar of the vine. Suddenly instead of the Wench standing over me it there was a rather portly woman with her hands planted firmly on her hips, a wart on her nose the size of acorn and pointed ears protruding from a birds nest matted hair. She’s looking down at the half eaten chicken. With a scornful look and growl
she announced, “What’s the matter you don’t like my chicken? Aye, she was an ntimidating woman which gave me pause to protest I was full. Instead I weakly replied; I fear I have more chicken here then I can eat. In a loud booming voice she screeched you
wanted my whole chicken, now you are going to eat all of my chicken and you are going to do it now. I glanced toward the queen to discover she was watching and listening and giving me a stern look of what are you waiting for eat. I twisted my mouth up to one side and gave a big sigh; well guess I better get busy and finish eating the lady’s full chicken.
To my surprise, though I thought I was full the chicken still tasted delicious and I even had a feeling of ecstasy come over me as I finished the last tender morsel of this wonderful chicken. Upon finishing the chicken I looked up at the wicked witch of a looking gal. Suddenly her features began to soften, the wart disappeared, her skin velvety smooth, her lips a dark shade of rose, the hips became slender and her bosom protruded magnificently from the low neck line of her top, her blonde hair flowed like silk down over her left
shoulder. I could hardly believe my eyes gone was the grotesque woman who a few minutes earlier stood wickedly over me and in her place now stood one of the most beautiful ladies with this magical glow upon her which I had ever laid eyes upon as if I had awakened a sleeping beauty. In a most sensuous voice I hear her softy coo, “To this man of men I say you have feasted upon my chicken as no other has come close to compare”. Wow! I thought it was my pleasure to have been the first to have fully enjoyed the entire chicken. My chest puffed out with pride and I was smitten with a smile of satisfaction. However, my glory was short lived as I heard the queen command her guards to seize him, seize him now. He will eat chicken every day for all the ladies in waiting in my court. “What eat chicken all day every day? No way my chicken eating prowess is special and not for just anytime anywhere”. I must flee from this mad queen quickly. I remember seeing myself running as the fox escaping the hen house licking his chops from the goodies he stole from the hens. Poof! Suddenly I found myself setting upright in my tent. Bewildered at first but glad to be safe in my tent knowing my “one of a kind” ability to eat chicken is still mine. I found myself licking my lips, strange I my lips had the taste of honey on them.
Hmmm! Maybe I shouldn’t drink so much beer after riding all day and I’ll never think of eating chicken the same again. Now was that one of the Craziest chicken stories you’ve ever read?
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16 Comments
larry covington
June 27, 2011By the way I enjoy the blogs and look for them every day!
admin
July 1, 2011Hi Larry, Sorry I’ve been out of internet service for several days. My journal is now caught up.
larry covington
June 27, 2011Frank,
Hills and wind, I much prefer hills because I know that what goes up also comes down, but that wind just never stops and even when you go down hill the wind puts the brakes on. There will be plenty of hills going down the coast of Oregon, Washington and California. But should get the tails wind.
My experiance with riding down the coast of Oregon was that there were enough small towns and seafood shacks that I only carried my bar bag full of snack bars/power bars. I ate as cheap as I wanted and as often as I wanted. Hopefully now that your in Missouri you wont have to rely on the sag car for groceries and not have to keep to their schedule as much. Just show up at camp everynight and enjoy the ride the way you invisioned it.
admin
July 1, 2011Yep, the wind is merciless as you will see in today and yesterday’s blog.
Donna Rodriguez
June 27, 2011I am guessing that you have already passed through Pittsburg, KS! I hope you find the wind to be at your back soon! The Nevada Multi Sport club rode to Bronaugh and back this past Saturday…we thought of you. Maybe we need to plan a “middle age” tour…no macho miles allowed! Best Wishes
admin
July 1, 2011Hi Donna, Yep were already in Ness City in western Kansas will be in Pueblo July 4th. The wind has been a bugger the past two days. I just brought my journal up to date. I have a friend on the west coast who is trying to talk me into doing Senior tours, that is an option I may consider as logistics is one of my strong suits.
ted moore
June 27, 2011This is Candice. Glad to know you are actually back in Missouri. How are the knees holding up?
admin
July 1, 2011Hi Candice, Already on the western side of Kansas. The knees are doing well enough, it’s my mind which needs an adjustment. May need your professional services by the time I get home? Be sure to check out my latest posts as I’ve not had internet service for a few days and finally caught it up today.
larry covington
June 24, 2011Frank,
I was worried that once you got to the midwest that the south westerly winds would be a drag. Hills come and go but that wind never seems to stop. You should seriously consider being a team leader on next years ride or one simaliar. Shape it around a slower pace for a more relaxing ride. I have a neighbor out here that does walking and biking yours for senior and semi senior people and has a blast with it.
Hang in there, stop and smell the roses once in a while.
Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work. By; Vince Lombardi
admin
June 26, 2011Hi Larry,
The wind has only become noticeable since entering Missouri. Kansas should be a win/lose depending on the wind. I dislike the wind almost as much as hills. Yes, I’m seriously considering a “Senior” touring service for the future. Really hope you and I are able to ride together down the coast.
Jerry Beisner
June 23, 2011Frank, From one “old guy” to another, I think you are confusing a once in a lifetime “Adventure” with an endurance marathon.
Maybe you should go solo or drop back with slower group. With your bull shit ability you can talk your way across America at your on pace and enjoy the people you meet and sights that our beautiful country has to offer.
Just a suggestion.
Jerry
admin
June 26, 2011Hi Jerry, You have made me chuckle with a smile ear to ear. You nailed it. This group has two objectives raise money to defeat MS a worthy cause I fully endorse and agree. The second is destination, getting from Yorktown, VA to San Francisco. I had a good chat with the group leader and his hands are tied, each night we have to be at a set location and final arrival destination. Until this year they never had anyone over 40 on their ride. This year there is a gal 45, a real Trooper and 5 guys over 57. The predominance has been the college age folks and they need to be able to register, books and all that other stuff in August.
You are also right about my being able to talk my way across America. The past two days I’ve done some visiting with folks at restaurants and had one breakfast bought for me and several offers to stay at folks homes. This is really what I had planned on doing but Ms. Vickie and others didn’t think that was or is a good idea. I disagree and glad you think the same. Folks are good and willing to help especially an old fat guy. Thank you for writing me, hope you continue reading my blog. I’ll try to be more positive and have fun stories to tell.
Dale Johnson
June 23, 2011Frank,
Keep plugging away and do things on your own terms.
You seem to be facing more severe weather than we did last year, if that is any consolation. Hopefully, things will improve.
Last year we had a group of 6-8 youngsters who slept in and piddled around most of the day. While I got in around 3 pm each day, they would arrive at 6-7 pm. To bad you don’t have them to ride with this year.
I don’t know if this will help you, but I didn’t do a lot of big meals during the day, except often a second breakfast of biscuits and gravy. I would constantly snack each hour. That kept my energy up. I bonked on one leg early on, but never did after that. I think it was the steady consumption of small amounts of food that helped.
After the Ozarks, you have the plains for 2 weeks. I did a lot of drafting off some of those young riders. About 80% of the time we had a cross wind. Kansas is an old Indian word for “People of the South Wind”.
Keep your spirits up! Absolutely love the blog…..best ever!
admin
June 26, 2011Hi Dale, Thank you for advise. You also made my day to saying “absouletly love the blog….best ever”. I’m known to speak my peace. I try to keep the blog conversational, hopefully bringing the reader into the adventure as fellow traveler. A couple of the Bike the US for MS folks are worried I’ll turn off future donor/riders. I don’t think so if anything I’ll provide anyone who reads the blog a good idea of what to expect.
I’m being able to eat more regularly now that stores are closer together, that may change in the west. I have been promoting with the older riders to do drafting in Kansas this coming week, think they will after experiencing the difference it makes solo versus pace line. One of my biggest problems are hills of any size, bascially my weight takes some effort to move uphill, causes me to lose ground with almost anyone I ride. Flats and down hills I can generally do alright.
Thank you for the kind words and hope you continue reading my blog.
Debbie Gilbert
June 22, 2011Diversion??? I think you may have another calling as a story teller. hahaha Have a restful night and a blessed day tomorrow, Frank.
admin
June 26, 2011Hi Debbie, Thanks, I’m really trying to be a writer and that’s not kidding. Thank you for the well wishes. Things are getting better.